It gets worse: The Hot Boy

Another well meaning friend does me a “favor” and introduces me to an old friend of hers from high school. We meet up one Friday for drinks, nice guy, decent looking, a little hood but ok… As the night goes on I realize this is not gonna be a love match, but we can probably hang out and I will invite him to go out with me and my people. Unfortunately, this kind hearted friend decided to push the matter and stalk both of us about dating each other. I think this made him think that I was feeling him more than I really was.

Not two days after meeting him, I start getting “I mi$$ u” texts. Oh and that’s how he writes. “ñ, 4$ho, str8”… WHY LAWD WHY?? Because I have a kind soul, I was going to chalk these things up and still try to be his friend. I figured if I didn’t respond to the foolish “I miss u” crap, then he would stop. He did not. So then I was like “knock it off”… didn’t end the madness. It only increased. I start getting phone calls 85 times a day and questions like “what we doing tonight”…. Errrr not sure what you doing but I have plans with my friends. At this point I am over him and his craziness and five whole days had not even passed. BTW it only 5 days have passed!

Oh, let me back track here. When I met him he had these giant earrings on, and to me they looked like bows. I realize that they are actually the "comedy/tragedy" masks with bling in them. In both ears, mind you. As we left the bar, I notice that he had a mid 90's gold caddy pimped out. Pair this with a receding hairline and a waistline that was doing quite the opposite. Annnnnnnnd man breasts. 

Also he kept complaining that police seemed to pull him over for no reason, I mentioned that maybe it was his car. And he seemed stunned. I am like you have a d-boy car, so why wouldn't they harrass you. I could tell this hit a nerve, and kind of backed down. Although logically it makes all the sense in the world. He started a rant about how black people can't ever have nice things, cuz the man is ready and waiting to knock them back down. yep... that's what it is...

*As you were*

Exactly one week from meeting him, there is a New Orleans party at the HOB. I go with some of my people and we have a great time! Except… Hot Boy shows up all in my face and since I suppose I wasn’t as enthused as he would like so he decided to “show me” by hollering and getting on every broad he could find. Do you my nig… I am over here not tripping and having fun. I guess he didn’t like this either because he would routinely go back in forth from being in my face to getting his mack on. Sir please go live your life. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Dating is wack: The Lurker

A guy I have known for years, who I know through my ex- contacted me randomly. So we start chatting, with more and more frequency. Eventually he mentions that he has always had a crush on me and I liked him too, so we decided to go on a date. I won’t lie we had a great time. He was always very gentlemanly and kind. But I started noticing that something was off with him. Time goes on, and we spend more time with each other and as much as I like him- something is still off. I can’t put my finger on what but that feeling stayed. After a few months he decides he isn’t ready to date seriously, and I am like “ok cool”. It gave me a nice out, because although I liked him I wasn't really sold on making something serious with him.

We stopped dating but stayed in touch. We meet up every now and then for lunch and chat every now and then. No problems, right? Well…. Since we run in the same circle, I see him when we go out and its friendly- or so I thought, until I realized that he was becoming a cock blocker! At parties each time I see a guy eyeing me and give it back to them, here  comes the Lurker out the blue to stand next to me or talk. Womp womp…

So you don’t want to date me, but you don’t want me to date anyone else? How that work? You had your chance sir, and you decided it was a no. Why won’t you let me be great??

Things are definitely going to have to change on this front. Like Deborah Cox said “weeeeee caan’t bbbbeeeee friends”, not because I am in love but because you are apparently crazy.