Hoe Sit Down- Jam Session

Various media as well as personal events have prompted myself and others to coin the term 'Sit Down.' Have you ever had the experience of someone blowing the importance of something completely out of proportion? That's when you tell them to sit down. For example, some friends and I are planning to take a ski trip in January. As someone who gets cold when temperatures fall below 70 degrees, I plan to stay inside a luxurious cabin preferably near the Jacuzzi at all times and care very little about outside "ski" related issues. When I told my boyfriend we were looking into some places in Lake Tahoe, he replied "We can't go there because they have bad snow." Bad snow? Growing up in Louisiana, I didn't even snow there were variations in types of snow but whatever. He doesn't ski, nor do I. So why should snow quality be an issue. He then goes on to say, "Well I snowboard." (FYI: He last snowboarded in 1994). This is a classic example of someone who needs to sit down.

Telling someone to sit down equates to saying "chill out," "get over yourself," or otherwise "stop pestering me about things that don't matter." Most recently, the mainstream person I need most to sit down is Kanye West. Perhaps you've heard this gentleman's recent rant about being nominated for several yet winning no MTV awards. If you haven't had the pleasure, please let me to highly suggest you view it on you tube. During what can only be described as a rant, he complains (seeming near the point of tears) that he has the #1 album, he's trying the best he can, and MTV needs to give a black man a chance. All of this over a moonman? Really? Sit down Kanye. We're talking about an award that equates to nothing more than being the most liked by teenagers. This is worth evoking a revitalization of the civil rights movement? Get over yourself, and please sit down.

Relatedly, I'd really like 50 cent to sit down with his "I'll retire if Kanye outsells me" mantra. I'm glad he's wisely backed down from that comment or clearly we've seen the last of Curtis (except for vitamin water commercials of course). It amazed me that people were really debating about who would outsell who. Of course Kanye was going to outsell 50. Kanye is hot right now and 50 hasn't had a good record since his first one and thus needed to sit down from the get go. While I recognize this whole "Kanye vs. 50" debate was a clever marketing scheme to promote record sales for both albums, I'm still irritated on principle since it was never even a competition. Now in a few months Mariah and Mary J. will be releasing albums on the same day and that one should be a shoot out.

You know who else I'd like to see firmly place their bottom in a chair, Brittany Spears. So she goes on the MTV awards completely ill-prepared and wearing perhaps the most unflattering costume possible for her body and then wants to cry and say the performance was awful and she looked fat. Well, yeah. From what I've read, MTV personnel and stylists implored her to: a.) wear something else and b.) put down the margarita while rehearsing. She obviously chose to do neither and wants to have a hissy fit when she looks like a complete fool on national television. Brittany, tighten up and most importantly sit down.

This remarkable phrase was born from the visual of someone standing up and loudly making a fuss where there should be none and when it is completely unwarranted, unnecessary, or preventable. But it doesn't stop there. No my friends, sitting down means so much more than that. It extends to those situations that are for lack of a better word, stupid. For example, R&B sensation Usher is a handsome, seemingly fun (although he's probably quite full of him), successful bachelor…or at least he was. That was before he fell for his late 30s or 40 something year old stylist/make-up artist who already has 3 kids. This situation is so unbelievable to me because it's not just that she's older (although I'll admit that's a big part of it) but she's such an average older woman, it boggles the mind that this is who he's settled on. I feel like my aunt could be married to Usher since bootyliciousness is clearly not at all a factor in his selection. Now certainly I'm in no position to dictate who Usher or anyone else loves. But he's got to admit that they are a bit of an odd couple. And it's the fact that he won't acknowledge this obvious and simple truth that prompts me to request he grab the seat of a chair with his derriere.

Look around, there are people all around you standing when they shouldn't be, yelling when it's unnecessary, and complaining when they should be chilling out. Guy said it best with their hit smash "Let's Chill." The song could just as easily have been titled "Sit Down."