Drunk Driving- Darling Nikki

I want to discuss the phenomena of drunk driving…

Disclaimer: Ok, so this is in no way a letter proponing drunk driving, it is merely a discussion. These are the author’s thoughts, and if you don’t agree or if they make you angry- you don’t have to read it.

Mostly everyone has been to the club or out drinking and has decided to drive themselves home. Most people who do this are drunk. You don’t’ feel incapable of driving, and actually believe that you drive BETTER while in this drunken state. No one protests you driving yourself because everyone else with you is doing it too. They may actually let you drive them because they too have more faith in your drunk driving abilities.

Let’s just be real, who really goes out with people and expects someone to be a designated driver? I don’t wanna go out with people who don’t drink with me, because then the crazy antics and tomfoolery that happens while out will be lost on them and will just end up pissing me off… Unless this is an unnaturally fun person, it just won’t work. Also I don’t need some sober person judging me in my drunkenness… And this is what typically happens when a person in the group is not a drinker like the rest. No one likes to be told how drunk or stupid they are at the time, this is to be discussed and laughed at the next day!

Ok so, the night is over you are leaving the outing and you get in your car, then its like magic happens- you end up home, safe and in one piece. It’s like your body has an “auto-pilot” setting that just clicks on. You get home and realize how drunk you were and marvel at the fact that you got home, or you wake up and have this realization….Either way it’s a great feeling. Now what sucks is when this “auto-pilot” does not kick on and you actually feel drunk and seem to see the ground moving, this is when you need to call in a less drunk friend to save you- don’t ever drive in this circumstance! Now some people don’t have this ability, but most people know and accept this, or if you know you are going to have a particularly rowdy night, you may ride with another person in hopes that they won’t be as drunk as you and can get you both to someone’s home safely.

Why does this “auto-pilot” thing happen? Is it just our body “manning-up” for the situation? Does our brain for some reason realize that its needs to recover its capabilities for the short drive home? I don’t have the answer- all I know is that I am grateful that it happens.

Often with drunk people there are random issues that may arise. One issue that often comes into play is nutty beliefs about traffic rules that may not be applicable in the city that you currently live in. For example- a good friend and fellow BRIO member was told by her father when she first got out onto the road that it is legal for a woman driving alone after midnight to treat a red light as a stop sign. While this may be true in the city of New Orleans, she no longer lives there and has brought this belief to other cities with her, and in addition to this has changed it by claiming that it is legal to “run red lights”! So now she has taken to running red lights while drunk, and has been doing it for so long that it has become part of her auto-pilot system….

Another important issue is that you can’t try to add extra activities into the mix while drunk driving. Your brain/body are already working on overload trying to get your drunk ass home, so it may not be a good idea to add extra things for it to try to work around. For instance- I like to smoke when I drink… Well one evening I was driving home from a BRIO fellowship, and decided to smoke a clove while getting myself home. Bad idea. I lit the clove and started smoking, but the lit tip flew off and landed in my lap. Now we have a problem, my body is trying to maintain its “auto-pilot” status but now I have to get this flaming object out of my lap. I try to flick it off but then it rolls under my behind! What to do? I actually had to try to get this flaming ash from under my ass while trying to drive on the freeway and not kill myself or anyone else. It was a ridiculous site and I was lucky I was alone. Because I am sure the extra distraction of a passenger/person laughing would have guaranteed our death…

A second important issue is that you should only go out with people who love you, if you are with random folks or co-workers try not to get drunk. These people may either judge you or let you drive home in an unfit state because they believe your claims of “I’m ok”. Sadly I have another personal story of how this is important. At another BRIO fellowship things got out of hand (as usual) and I got REALLY drunk. At some point I decided that I needed to get home, and was going to drive myself. Well I couldn’t even stand up straight and when I was told by my other BRIO members that I was way to drunk I got indignant and insisted that I was leaving. They were not going to let this happen, thankfully. They decided to “test” me, and asked me to touch my nose and I began flipping them off, they asked me to walk a straight line, and I began to “second line”. So they rightfully decided that I was not going to drive, well I was not going for it and began cursing them out which they found very entertaining, all this said I was dropped off at my house and was grateful the next morning when the story was told back to me over lunch. Had I been with people who didn’t care about me, or people who would have taken my comments personally I may have been found dead in a ditch.

So back to my point- there are rules that need to be abided when driving drunk. Please follow them. It not only benefits you, but also the other numerous drunk drivers on the road. I know that no one likes to acknowledge the fact that this is common but it is. Who else is roaming the streets after 12am on a Friday or Saturday night, not sober people… They are people just like you either leaving some bar or going to another drinking spot. For all of our sakes, be a smart drunk. If you don’t have the “auto-pilot” phenomena don’t drive, if the road is moving- don’t drive, if you can’t stand up- don’t drive.
Thanks, and happy drinking